“Time Heals All Psychological Wounds” — A Comforting Myth

I have heard people say this many times: “Just wait a while and you will feel better.” People think that time is like a cure that makes the pain go away and brings back happiness. When bad things happen to us, time is not enough to make everything okay.


~What Time Actually Does For Us


Time gives us some space from the things that happened. Time can:

* Make the bad feelings less strong after a while

* Help us remember the things less often

* Give us time to think about what happened to us

Just because we have some space does not mean we are okay and everything is fine.


~Why Time Alone Does Not Fix Trauma


Fixing ourselves is something we have to work for. It does not just happen because time is passing. We have to do things to fix ourselves. Time will not do it for us, not for our trauma.

1. Our Feelings Are Still There

If we do not deal with our feelings, they do not go away. They just hide inside us. They can come back later as the following: 

* Feeling anxious and scared

* Things that remind us of memories

* Feeling empty and numb

2. Avoiding Things Does Not Help

As time goes on, people might try to avoid things that hurt them or dealing with them. This can make it seem like we are okay. Everything seems fine. Really we are not okay. We are just avoiding our problems, our trauma.

3. Trauma Can Change Us

Things like traumatic stress disorder show that trauma can last for years if we do not get help. We need to face our problems and get help to fix ourselves to heal our trauma.


~What Helps Us Heal


To get better, we need to:

* Deal with our feelings of hiding them

* Find ways to cope, like writing in a journal or talking to someone about our feelings

* Have people who care about us like friends and family

* Get help from a professional like a therapist

Time can help us do these things. Time cannot do them for us, not for our trauma.


~A Way To Look At It



Time does not fix our wounds, our trauma. What we do with our time is what makes us heal and feel better, what makes our trauma heal.


~Conclusion


Thinking that time fixes all psychological wounds is nice. It is not true. Healing takes work and effort. It takes time to heal our trauma. We need to be aware of our feelings and get support from people who care about us for our trauma. Just waiting for time to pass is not enough to heal our wounds, our trauma. The truth is time can pass. Our pain only goes away when we face it and deal with it; when we face our trauma and deal with it.


For more content stay connected with Psychology: Myth vs Reality by 

Tanya Kakkar

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